what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
