I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
