TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize