i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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