She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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