we're chasing vodka with high fives
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well I just put wine in my tea
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just forgot I was standing up.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
