I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
