You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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