They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
