i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
