I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We named our party play list daddy issues
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
BRING THE BAGELS
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
