So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
that's an acceptable place to lick
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize