i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
