I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I bet he comes in French.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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