i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize