So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
