One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
