I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize