hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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