Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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