People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
