The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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