But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
