i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
