i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
