im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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