Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
