He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
the raccoons are back...
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