Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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