my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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