Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
