and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
