Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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