How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
tell me about the eggs
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