The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
