Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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