I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Drunk is a universal language darling
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
