I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis