Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies