I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.