I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize