to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!