I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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