can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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