when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
