Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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