wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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