this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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