I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
