so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize