is your mom at the bar?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
