I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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