I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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