dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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