please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Randomize
