I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize