i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
