I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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