Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
