I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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