she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
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He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
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I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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