you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
operation have a gay friend backfired
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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