Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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